Tricks of the Trail: Peripheral Skills

Scout, Cap, & Betty on a 10-mile training hike

Most people don't realize there's a lot more to training for a long distance hike than walking tons of
miles. People are impressed when I tell them we now look at 3 1/2 miles as a warm-up, or we're disappointed if we only have time for a 5-mile hike. But that's just down to physical stamina and muscle conditioning that we can build up as any athlete does. 

The actual difficult parts of training have to do with practicing the peripheral things that fill in all the minutes on the trail not involving in taking steps, and handling the hours after the walk. Here's a short taste of the things Team Roger is working hard to master.

WHINING: The necessity for this important skill was brought to our attention by Betty who tries to convince us that she is the expert at whining while on the trail. She might be right, but everyone except Cap is actually getting fairly good at coming up with impressive complaints--like toddlers on a long car trip. If anyone would like to practice their whining skills, here are a few examples you're welcome to try:

Part of whining is letting it show on you face.

"My right foot twists in my shoe and feels funny."

"Ooh, ooh, cramp in my arch."

"This asphalt is hard on my back."

"My laces are too tight. I can't feel my toes."

"Are we done yet?"

"Yesterday the first mile went by faster."

"No, no, I'm fine; my knees are only a LITTLE achy today."

"I really have to pee and there are too many people on this trail."

"Ooh, ooh, cramp in my heel."

Those are courtesy of Betty, Babs, and Scout. Seriously, the worst thing Cap complains about is when his All Trails app shows we missed a trail and we are heading away from our end point after seven miles. 

RE-LACING BOOTS & CARE OF FEET: It's inevitable that feet get tired once you hit a certain point in a walk (note: this comes at a different mile marker for every hiker). If you're unlucky, your feet will actually hurt, and in a worst-case scenario, the hurt will come from raw skin or a blister. So, every good hiker will have several tools to combat these ills. The first is a knowledge of various ways to lace a hiking boot, or loosen and tighten the laces in just the right places. The second is knowing exactly how to cut and place Moleskin protective padding where it won't make the hot spots worse. The third is simply learning to accept how weird it feels to have bandages, Moleskin, or silicone toe covers between your toes when you walk.

LONG GRASS:  This is where ticks live. In all seriousness, our Betty has had two tick-borne conditions in the past, and she is rightfully worried about ticks. We do our best to keep the little suckers from hitching rides on our persons, but once in a while we have to walk through tall grass areas. That's when the mantra "it's fine, everything's fine, this is fine," comes in handy. Also, we have standing agreements not to tell Betty if we see or find any little black creepy crawlies.

Fascinating side story: several years ago, Cap and Babs actually pulled 40 ticks each off of themselves after a state park hike (they weren't stuck in, they weren't stuck in). This might be the first time Betty has heard of this so if you hear a scream...

A ravine--where tick COULD be waiting

POTTY EMERGENCIES: Everyone knows that humans with male anatomy have a much easier time with pee stops in the woods than those with female anatomy. Guys don't really have to do much training for this aspect of long hikes because their dads taught them how to find a tree as part of potty training. Girls, however, must get over concerns not only about ticks but itch weed, poison ivy, wasps, and sharp branches, and develop their quads so as to perfect an extended squat. Here are the peeing rules:

*Move off the path at least a few yards (more in National Parks) to be polite.

*Use a stick or small trowel (because we all carry one, right? *shakes head*) to bury solids.

*Don’t leave TP in the woods.

*Don’t USE TP—embrace natural-ness.

*Face the trail so you can pretend to unexpected trail visitors that you’re looking for your phone.

*If you sit on a log like it’s a toilet seat, make sure it’s sturdy.

*Once you’re finished, check to make sure your phone didn’t fall out of your pocket.

 

FIND YOUR NATURAL NAVIGATORS: In Team Roger Lowa, Cap and Betty are the undisputed map readers. They LOVE maps and if a trail system has waypoint signs with maps, we must stop at every one. This is not a bad thing. Scout and Babs can read maps just fine, but we don't need to. We just enjoy the easy life and now and then correct wrong turns. Sometimes Cap relies on technology--he prefers All Trails for downloading maps. Babs can't keep technology running reliably, so she no longer navigates by phone. Pro tip: designate your map readers and navigators and don't mix jobs--too many cooks and all that!

Those are the main side skills we recommend for any hike, but most importantly for long-distance hikes. If you can gain reasonable proficiency in all these things you'll have no problems. But, if you want one main takeaway from this post it should be this--learn to whine. That will take you through almost any annoying situation!

 

Except this: whining might not have helped had we been sitting on this bench at the wrong time.

Happy adventuring--hiking or otherwise. Coming up on The True Adventures: Memorial Day Marathon and the curative properties of Scotch (and Tom Collins).